The Keillor Reader: Looking Back at Forty Years of Stories: Where Did They All Come From?

The Keillor Reader: Looking Back at Forty Years of Stories: Where Did They All Come From?

Garrison Keillor

Language: English

Pages: 400

ISBN: 0143127187

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Stories, monologues, and essays by Garrison Keillor, founder and host of A Prairie Home Companion

The first retrospective from New York Times–bestselling author Garrison Keillor celebrates the humor and wisdom of this master storyteller. With an introduction and headnotes by the author, along with accompanying photographs and memorabilia, The Keillor Reader brings together a full range of Keillor’s work. Included are the “Pontoon” monologue, in which twenty-four Lutheran pastors capsize a boat as a parasail and hot-air balloon maneuver above; the Alaska adventures of professional wrestler Jimmy “Big Boy” Valenti; a new version of “Casey at the Bat”; an imaginative memoir of life at the New Yorker; and a set of precepts for life, “What Have We Learned So Far?”

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was about the same as Snowball’s chances in hell. But that has all changed, and now the American people shell out upward of $10 billion a year for health care for pets. Fine. Not an issue. Nobody called in to the show to suggest that the knee operation on the fourteen-year-old golden retriever (a recent cancer survivor) shows a level of caring far beyond what we extend to three-fourths of the world’s human population. I could have but I don’t care to upset the golden retriever community. Live

Lew was long gone from the world, but I still wanted to impress him even posthumously, I could imagine how pleased he’d be, he’d read it slowly beginning to end, and say, “That’s not bad. Not a single word misspelled.” The Geographic photographer Erika Larsen came and lived with my family for weeks while she shot the pictures around town—she’d just finished a book of stunning photos of the Sami people of northern Sweden and had just returned from Peru but seemed enthused to be in Minnesota and in

he was thirty. Had no lead in his pencil. That’s why he shot Lincoln. Another was Typhoid Harry, the Georgia farm boy who milked his father’s cows day and night and spread the deadly disease that almost wiped out Atlanta. Another hermaphrodite.” He told the other engineers to keep a close watch on Little Becky. “You can tell,” he said. “You’ll know.” • • • A few days after Becky’s arrival in Elmville, Dad took Patsy for lunch to Richards Treat and told her to get rid of the kid. “She

that’s true of most singers. A real man’s man can no more sing than a dog can read books. It’s pure frustration that makes for performing talent. All that la-di-da and the big grins, that’s hermaphrodism talking.” He leaned forward and pointed a finger into his own chest. “I,” he said, “have no talent for performance whatsoever. I am quite happy to be normal.” 8. CASEY AT THE BAT In the Ernest Thayer original, it’s a tragedy when Casey strikes out, but of course that depends on

delusional thinking, Joey. If you’re not careful, you’re going to wind up on the funny farm, talking to the window shades.” I was hoping to build doubt in the man’s mind but his firm grip on the peashooter told me I was not succeeding. He was in no mood for storytelling. “Tell me what’s going on, Noir, or else you are going to get you a new buttonhole. Right in between those other buttonholes.” It occurred to me just then that Life Without Parole might not be a deterrent to one in

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